That Pam Chick

I spent Labor Day weekend in South Dakota visiting my family.  The highlights included going to Philip, South Dakota (where I got to go to the Vetrinarian/Liquor Store…get your saddle and box of wine in one place!) and shooting a fully automatic MAC 10 45 caliber with a silencer.  It’s amazing to shoot 30 rounds in a matter of seconds while needing no ear protection at all.

But, the real gem of the weekend was the sign outside the church by my parents’ house.  Once when I was younger this sign said “Let us help you with death”.  I only wish I got a picture of that one.  But luckily I did get a picture of this one.  Obviously the church staff can’t count past 4 since they think grace is a four-letter word.

If you know me well you know little things drive me crazy. Most notably, repetitive sounds. For instance, I can’t stand ticking clocks. Although, that is probably because I grew up in a house full of them since I my dad is a collector. And by collector I don’t mean just a collector of clocks, I mean of anything and everything of little to no value that he can get his hands on.

Also, if you follow me on Twitter you’ve seen me bitching about my new neighbor’s wind chimes which I am glaring at out of the corner of my eye right now as they dance in the breeze. The lightest breeze and they are noisy as shit. But, I digress.

I am now adding the sound of “squeaky clean teeth” to my list of noises I hate thanks to a Crest Pro-Health Night Toothpaste featuring “Tiffany”. At the end of the commercial she rubs her finger against her teeth to prove to you how squeaky clean they are when she gets up in the morning. Now I rarely watch commercials thanks to my best friend Tivo but whenever I forget to fast foward through them, this damn commercial is on and I never realize it until it’s too late. I lunge for the remote and just as I grab it she squeaks her finger across her teeth like fingernails on a chalkboard. I am fairly sure they could replace waterboarding with Tiffany’s squeaky teeth torture and see a drastic rise in terrorist confessions. So, if you know anyone at Crest that can get this commercial off the air I would be forever indebted. In the meantime, if you are into torturing yourself, here it is:

The mission of Trash the Earth Day (coming this April 5th) is to grow and diversify the environmental destruction movement worldwide, and to mobilize it as the most effective vehicle for promoting an unhealthy, unsustainable planet so our children will have the same fun and benefits of trying to save the planet that our generation has enjoyed. Supporters of Trash the Earth Day pursue their mission through education, politics, events, and consumer activism.

The League of American Non-environmentalists Defending Freedom to Litter (LANDFL) released the following statement regarding Trash the Earth Day:

“The recycling movement has created nearly one million new jobs in America alone. If we don’t continue contributing to the decline of our environment, the need for recycling will decline leading to a drastic reduction in recycling related jobs in America. The balance between improving the environment and keeping our economy strong is delicate. We cannot ignore the need for Americans to continue to litter and produce excess waste, guaranteeing the need for recycling in the future.”

Please watch the following video starring a Great American Hero for more information on Trash the Earth Day to see how you can do your part to trash the Earth.