Written by: July 1, 2008on
If you know me well you know little things drive me crazy. Most notably, repetitive sounds. For instance, I can’t stand ticking clocks. Although, that is probably because I grew up in a house full of them since I my dad is a collector. And by collector I don’t mean just a collector of clocks, I mean of anything and everything of little to no value that he can get his hands on.
Also, if you follow me on Twitter you’ve seen me bitching about my new neighbor’s wind chimes which I am glaring at out of the corner of my eye right now as they dance in the breeze. The lightest breeze and they are noisy as shit. But, I digress.
I am now adding the sound of “squeaky clean teeth” to my list of noises I hate thanks to a Crest Pro-Health Night Toothpaste featuring “Tiffany”. At the end of the commercial she rubs her finger against her teeth to prove to you how squeaky clean they are when she gets up in the morning. Now I rarely watch commercials thanks to my best friend Tivo but whenever I forget to fast foward through them, this damn commercial is on and I never realize it until it’s too late. I lunge for the remote and just as I grab it she squeaks her finger across her teeth like fingernails on a chalkboard. I am fairly sure they could replace waterboarding with Tiffany’s squeaky teeth torture and see a drastic rise in terrorist confessions. So, if you know anyone at Crest that can get this commercial off the air I would be forever indebted. In the meantime, if you are into torturing yourself, here it is: